Positivity is HARD. Especially when those nasty inner demons show their faces and remind you of your past struggles. We all have them. That ex that cheated on us. The accident that scarred us. The abusive relationship with a family member. Choosing friends that stab us in the back. Rape… Being stalked… The list of what creates inner demons that we must battle could go on for ages and I’m sure that anybody reading this could add to the list an event or circumstance that plays through their minds at the worst of times, creating a whole new list of issues for the people in our lives currently but most of all to ourselves.
How can we create a world of positivity and denounce the negativity that flows through the earth causing trouble for everyone if we can’t keep our own inner demons at bay?
That’s the thing… we can. It’s hard work and will become harder as we near the end of beating back that “demon” but we can change those demons into accomplishments. That ex that cheated on you? That was awful, but your current partner/spouse/significant other treats you the way you deserve. When they have to work late or they take a little longer than usual, the thoughts creep up into your mind, slowly at first and then panic takes over and before you know it you’re freaking out and taking out the fact that your ex cheated on you on your new partner who may have just not heard the phone go off or was legitimately putting in overtime.
But you can beat that demon into an accomplishment. When you feel those emotions taking over you, tell yourself all of the good things about your current relationship. Tell yourself “That was the choice of [name], not what’s happening in my life currently. This isn’t the same situation.” And keep telling yourself that until the thoughts leave your mind. Be sure to express what your feelings were, calmly, with your current partner when you do talk to them and let them know that you know that they aren’t doing it, but you had to struggle with it and give them the opportunity to help you through this struggle. Give them the chance to hold your hand and fight that demon with you, and before you know it overtime or missing a text or call occasionally won’t even bother you. Because you made it through the person that hurt you and found someone to be your champion and your real partner in life, and that person has shown that they will take up the battle sword with you and fight the demons that plague the back of your mind, and you will eventually find yourself in a relationship where you won’t be worried when the other person is working late or doesn’t answer you right away.
One of the hardest demons for men and women alike to fight back into accomplishments is a rape. The emotions that follow this awful event are overwhelming… there’s denial, shame, anger, depression and they all roll through vicious, inconsistent cycles. We see someone looking at us a little too long at work or school or among our friends and freak out, sometimes becoming verbally or physically aggressive as a safety mechanism to prevent this person – who is probably either just lost in thought and doesn’t realize they’re even looking at you, or they’re attracted to you and wondering how to tell you this fact – from hurting us like the person from our past who took something more valuable than money or valuables from us. They took our dignity, our sense of value, our feelings of safety. These demons are vicious monsters that hold on tightly, especially if justice was never served to the person that victimized us. But we need to realize something… we survived it. We got through that ordeal and we’ve fought through the awful emotional roller coaster that follows and we lived to see another day, though beaten and bruised and less confident and feeling as if we have to justify what happened to us with the “why” question. But we don’t. There will never be an answer to the “why” that is going to be satisfactory.
But you can fight this demon back as well. There are support groups and forums all over social media that are there for victims of sexual assault and rape and there are thousands of people out there that have fought through the same emotions that you’ve faced and have come out on top and many of them will help you through your dark moments. There are friends that will support you and keep you uplifted when you struggle through your securities. Each day, remind yourself “That person [name if you have it] was an evil person. They took something from me. But not all people are evil. Today I will look for something good in someone and embrace that.” And each day, look for something good in someone. Fight those emotions by seeking out the good, fight those insecurities for searching for the positive. When someone looks at you for too long, wave at them. Let them know “I’ve had some things in my past that I don’t wish to discuss right now, but I feel uneasy with you looking at me for so long, would you mind focusing your attention elsewhere for a little while?” Say it nicely. Don’t let your feelings of fear take over your tongue or your tone, just let them know they’re making you uncomfortable. As long as you’re polite, they will apologize and turn their attention elsewhere. That’s a good in someone that you can keep in mind for tomorrow. And tomorrow, remind yourself again “That person was an evil person. They took something from me. But not all people are evil. Today I will look for something good in someone and embrace that.” Keep doing this until you can look in the mirror and say “That person was evil. But they didn’t beat me. I’m still here. I have found the good in people, and I will embrace that.” And embrace it. Because you’ve just turned that demon into an accomplishment and you have beaten them, because they no longer hold anything over you. You were a victim, but your days of being a victim are over.
Most demons can be beaten back by saying to yourself, either aloud in a room by yourself or standing in front of a mirror and saying “I was a victim of [name your demon], but today I’m a champion. My demon hasn’t beaten me yet, and it won’t succeed today.” Learn to accept that you have demons, and then face off with them. Show them no fear, because they will not let you rest if you do. Tell them every day “I was a victim of [demon], but today I’m a champion. My demon hasn’t beaten me yet, and it won’t succeed today.” Those words and following up with the actions to match it will walk you right through that storm, and your person whose season it is to walk through that storm with you will be there to hold your hand and help you through it.
Bring out the positive in yourself and the positive of others will shine around you. Defeat your negative instincts by defeating your demons and beating them into accomplishments. Because regardless of what your demon’s name is, you walked through that storm, you got through it. You made it this far, and that makes you a warrior. Now turn that warrior spirit into a reason for others to embrace the positive and live your life as the life of a champion, beat your demons and claim them as accomplishments and you’ll go far.
Be the source of your own positivity, and the negativity of the world can never hurt you. Because once you’ve beaten one demon, you can beat anything that comes at you.