There is a difference between being a giver and being a boaster. A giver gives from their heart. Something pulls at their heart strings and they give what they can. They do so quietly, usually anonymously, with no intention of ever letting what they’ve done be known. They don’t say what they’ve done or why they’ve done it, they just give.
An example of a giver can be an incident where my husband and I were at a bank and we were discussing the transaction that we needed to do in order to get the funds we needed to do what we needed to do outside of our bills (gas, groceries, etc.) During this discussion, I asked my husband if we had enough money that I could have $20 for something I needed. We discussed for a few moments and determined that we didn’t have the extra $20.
Once we figured up what we could afford and got in line to see the teller to deposit and withdraw appropriate funds, we were called to the side by one of the tellers and given an envelope with the teller saying “One of our members asked me to give this to you.” There was no name on the envelope, just a handwritten note that said “Be Blessed” and a smiley face drawn beside it. Inside of the envelope was $86. It was such a random amount that it stood out in our minds and I still think back to that day at the bank when I think of things that pull at our heart strings.
We still don’t know where that $86 came from. We don’t know the giver behind the money that we received. We just know that it was a much needed blessing. I got the $20 for what I needed, our bills were able to be met and our gas and grocery needs were covered for that week.
I’ll never forget that donation from a stranger to strangers… a gift from an anonymous source. Whether this anonymous donor ever even told anyone in their friends and family that they had given some strangers $86 just because they overheard us talking about our financial situation, I’ll never know. But I do know this : that random act of kindness changed both our moods, helped us to meet our needs and let us both know that people do care in the world.
Another situation to explain what I mean about being a boaster : I was working one day when I worked for a certain retail chain. I had a customer come through that was short $20 for their grocery order which mostly consisted of diapers, formula, baby food and a few sandwich meats. She started searching through her groceries to decide what to put back when the lady behind her gave me the $20 needed. That lady then proceeded to tell the woman “Don’t worry about putting anything back, I’ve covered it.” This could be a giver situation as well, except the lady didn’t stop there. She proceeded to start a conversation with the customer in line behind her, bragging about how she had helped the customer to cover her order. She held her head high and help up my line of customers, making sure it was known that she had given $20 of her money to help a stranger and that more people should help others. This makes her a boaster. Her mind saw that all of the groceries in the woman’s order were necessary and told her “It would be nice of you to help this woman.”
There may have been some aspect of the second woman’s donation that came from her heart, but by the time the donation was made, the “look at me” aspect kicked in and she made sure that people’s attention was on her and that they understood she had done something kind.
In the first example, a stranger had quietly donated the $86 quietly, without bringing attention to themselves and without making it known what they had done. They didn’t embarrass us by letting everyone know that we were having financial troubles and they had taken it upon themselves to offer us help. They didn’t make a scene. They just wrote “Be Blessed” on an envelope and had the teller quietly give us the envelope. I must have cried for an hour feeling the blessings of that gift.
In the second example, the stranger had donated $20, but had brought attention to herself and to the struggling young mother who was bound to have already been embarrassed that she had come up short, and then was further embarrassed by her shortcomings being announced. I don’t know how long she cried, but I’m sure the tears were tears of mixed emotion – both embarrassment and blessing.
While the boaster had in fact given to help someone else, she did it for her own benefit, for the “look at me and what I did” factor. I’ve done this. We’re all guilty of this at some point in our lives.
But I have an envelope that says “Be Blessed” and the memory of $86 that had provided needs that my husband and I couldn’t at that time afford to meet to remind me that going forward, it is vitally important, both for your own satisfaction and for the sensation of knowing that someone else has tears of pure joy and blessing and not of mixed emotion, to be a giver.
Even if your mind says “That’s a valid purchase that this person is coming up short for, I should help,” let your heart take over to keep your mouth shut.
Their financial struggles are not the business of other people. If you see an opportunity to give, then give. But give quietly. Don’t announce what you’ve given. Don’t be a boaster.
Give from the strength and the blessing and the joy that giving will bring to your heart, and not for the congratulations. Give a receptionist, a cashier or a teller an anonymous envelope marked “Be Blessed” and walk away.
And always… always… have a blessed and positivity filled day ❤
“Be the change you wish to see in the world”