Accept That People Will Come and Go

There is a saying that people come into our lives for a reason, a season or a lifetime. I was talking with a friend a few hours ago that was a little upset over the loss of a friendship. We talked about why these things happen. They happen because they’re meant to.

Let’s face facts : If every person we ever met and cared about was meant to be a part of our lives for the duration of our lives, when old age comes knocking we’d all die of depression. Why? Because we would have hundreds of people dropping all around us at a rate of OMG who’s next?! Think about it! How many people have you met in your life that have either remained a part of your life or became someone you talk to occasionally or have had a falling out with and no longer speak with? Need help? *Look at your Facebook friend list… see that number? Can you imagine if you cared about ALL of those people that you have invited into your life to see your daily goings on as you post away about your job, your frustrations, your happy news, your pictures of your kids (not saying you DON’T care about all of them, but really… how many do you talk to?) and you were close close friends with all of them and you all went into the golden years together. Next thing you know, you’d have all 800 of those people dying at the same time! Susie so-and-so passed of a heart attack, Tommy just lost his battle with cancer after all these years of fighting, Amy just had a stroke, Jane died peacefully in her sleep and it would be a never ending cycle of a weekly obituary update that eventually would put you into such a depression you would pass yourself of a broken heart.

So you see, we can’t keep all of the people we ever care about forever. It would be too much on us later in life. Not only that, by keeping one person in your life that isn’t meant to be there anymore, you close the door to meeting someone else who is supposed to show up.

I look at it this way. Life is a cycle of storms. (Some people call it tests, others call it trials, I call it storms.) You have the weatherman – AKA person A… let’s call this person John for now. John is here to guide you to the storm. He may even be pulling some strings to create the storm. But make no mistake, when John gets you to the storm, he’s gonna be getting out of there. Either he gets you to the storm and bails, or he causes the storm and you give him the boot. But nonetheless, you’re now knee deep in wind and rain and thunder and lightening. You’re left cold and afraid and fighting to find the end of the storm.

Then comes person B – let’s call her Mary. John is gone, he got you all the way up to this mess, probably even caused this mess and now he’s gone. Your umbrella just broke, your bills are due, your job is tanking, your car won’t start and you’re this >< close to giving up when out of nowhere a hand reaches down and grabs you and starts pushing and pulling you forward. You and Mary bond while you work through the storm together and finally there’s hope. But then the storm comes to an end and Mary gets a promotion in another town or your lose touch or you have a falling out, but nonetheless now Mary is gone.

Once again, you’re left alone. The storm is over and you made it through in one piece, but you’re alone again and there are damages that need to be repaired. Now what? Enter person C… let’s just call this one Tom. Tom shows up out of nowhere. He helps you rebuild from the storm and restores your faith in your future. He gives you a mirror that helps you to see your beauty, inside and out and creates an environment where you’re comfortable again and boosts your bravery for the next storm.

Maybe Tom sticks around, maybe he’s just here to guide you to life’s next storm. Who knows? But one thing is for certain… Had John stuck around, you would never have met Mary who you fought a tough battle with and overcame something together and made memories with. And had Mary stuck around, you probably never would’ve met Tom who restored your faith in yourself and helped you heal from the storm that John had brought you to and abandoned you in. Maybe if John had stuck around and stayed in your life and helped you through the storm, and helped you heal from the storm you would’ve turned out okay… many people have that one person in their lives through every storm.

But not every storm is the same, and the people meant to help get us to the storms that we have to face, through the storms when we’re beaten down by the sound of thunder and the cold of the rain, and heal us from the storm when the sun starts to peak around the clouds again are usually different people. Sometimes people come and go from our lives. Sometimes, once someone leaves, they’re gone for good…

You’ll have your lifetime friends that one day you’ll sit on a rocking chair with and laugh about the good ole days and talk about John, Mary and Tom and the stories that led up to, through and beyond that storm… But not everyone is meant to stay. Sometimes when people leave our lives it’s painful and all we want to do is sit back and cry, and that’s okay. And sometimes when people leave our lives we’re so relieved that the storm they’ve kicked up can come to an end simply because they’re gone that all we want to do is celebrate the fact that they’ve moved on and that’s okay too.

But don’t mourn the living for long. They’re still alive. They’ve just finished their season in your life.

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