We’ve all been there. Somebody says something negative about us – whether it’s true or false – and we explode. We take to social media and attack or we go off on the person delivering the message or we end up escalating verbal confrontation to physical confrontation. It’s a part of who we are as human beings, right?
It’s a part of the programming, yes, most people come with fight or flight instincts and usually when our character and reputation into question it is a natural instinct to want to defend ourselves. But responding to negativity with negativity only breeds more negativity.
It’s up to each one of us as individuals to make a difference and allow ourselves to fight against the negativity. After all, you never know what is truly going on in the mind of the person creating the negativity. I’m not saying ignore the negative, absolutely not. It needs to be addressed, but address it positively. Address it in a way that helps shed light on your true character and who you really are without adding more negativity.
Instead of getting angry at words, spin them around to a positive situation. The person attacking you is most likely miserable in their own life and looking for a negative response from you to verify insecurities that live in their mind. So rather than just saying “I have the right” or “They started it” or “They shouldn’t have said,” take the time before you respond to their words to think about the pros and cons of your reaction.
The pros, you get to defend yourself. Yay you. The cons? You’ve confirmed someone else’s insecurities about you, you’ve behaved in a way that allows others to see you basically throw a temper tantrum (and trust me I’ve thrown my fair share and not that long ago), you confirm what they are saying by responding negatively, and you give them ammunition to continue the attack.
When someone is attacking your character, address it. But address it politely. For instance : “So I heard today that I’m a conniving and backstabbing b****. I’m sorry for the person I seem to have offended. Not sure what I’ve done, but if you would come to me and talk to me about it, I will be more than happy to apologize for the wrong I seem to have done.” And if the person comes to you, apologize. Don’t lash out. Start with an apology, because an apology opens the door for forgiveness and forgiveness opens the door for positivity and positivity opens the door for a negativity free environment.
“Be the change you want to see in the world.”