Why so Catty?

Why do women shame other women? Why is it that a woman going out on the dance floor at a club and dancing with the new trendy dance move (currently the “twerk”) automatically grounds for other women to turn up their noses and say “wow that girl’s twerking? She must be a skank!” Really? Dancing makes someone a skank?

Or the joke that if a prostitute says no is called rape or theft? It’s called rape. That’s not even remotely funny. So what if she sells it? That’s not your business. What is your business is that a fellow woman was violated and whether or not the person that violated her was caught. Want him knocking on your door? Didn’t think so.

Why is it so easy to automatically assume that we know a woman by the clothes she wears? “Oh look at that easy girl over there in that miniskirt showin off those a$$ cheeks. You know she’s a hoe.” Maybe she’s just not ashamed of her body. Maybe it’s 105° outside and she’s wearing a swimsuit under that skirt trying to stay cool in the heat while she’s running errands.

Keep in mind that not every mind works the way your mind works. While you may not be twerking or selling yourself or wearing a miniskirt, there are women that are doing those things. So maybe, the next time you see a girl twerking you might train yourself to think, “that girl looks like she’s having fun, maybe I can look and see if there is a trendy dance move that’s more to my liking and the next time this song plays I can get out there and dance too.” You’re still not twerking, you’re just getting out there and having a good time with the twerkers while doing something you’re more comfortable with and *without* judging the other women on the floor.

Maybe the next time you hear of a prostitute getting raped, you’ll say a prayer that her rapist is brought to justice, or if you hear someone say the joke, you’ll make it clear to them that it is in fact rape and it is a distasteful joke.

Perhaps the next time you see that girl in the mini skirt and notice her butt cheeks are hanging out, you’ll take a moment to really feel the temperature and you might just decide that she’s hot and comfortable enough with her own body to wear something that will keep her cool in the heat.

Judging each other, bashing each other, jumping to conclusions about each other, name calling it’s counterproductive to what our ancestors fought for. Stop being so catty and judgmental and start practicing uplifting behaviors. It only takes ONE person to make a world of difference.

A long shared story told by a high school valedictorian of his best friend says “I was walking home that day to kill myself, but instead I made a friend and because of that friend I’m still here today.”

Be that friend. Help each other out. Uplift each other, build each other up and support one another and you can make all the difference in the world. Maybe just to one person, maybe to the entire world. You’ll never know until you take your nose out of the air and try kindness on for size.



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